Blog Articles

Breaking Free

05/14/2012 14:40:00

Yesterday was great! I had the opportunity to celebrate Mother’s Day with the women in my family who have loved and supported me my entire life. And as with our family, I also got the opportunity to enjoy spirited conversation about world news, religion, memories from our past (laughing at how everybody remembers it differently), and most interestingly, how the views of such a close-knit group of women vary when it comes to cultural beliefs. Keep in mind, we range in age from 34 to 79 years, so it was so enlightening to see how some of us have evolved from year to year and how some have just dug in deeper right where they are. At times I took an observer’s stance and sat back to watch certain exchanges between these awesome women. And with the eyes of non-judgement, I could begin to see (and hear) limiting beliefs rise to the surface of these debates. Not just limiting personal beliefs, but something more interesting – limiting cultural beliefs.

Limiting cultural beliefs operate in much the same way as limiting personal beliefs. A lot has been written in the personal development and self help fields about overcoming perceptions in the mind that hold you back from achieving your goals. Negative self talk such as "I’m not brave enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, dedicated enough…" Self imposed limitations are self fulfilling prophecies, however, they can be overcome with the right mental attitude.

A cultural belief is exactly the same, apart from the fact that it is harder to spot because it is a shared belief.

The cultural belief that a woman’s place was in the home oppressed half the population for many centuries. The cultural belief of the racial superiority of whites has oppressed many other cultures for a very long time as well.

We have broken the shackles of many of these false and limiting beliefs, but as a culture we still live under many delusions.

The Importance of Breaking Free

Overcoming self imposed limitations in your personal life opens up many new doors in development and quality of life. The same is true of a culture. Embracing racial and gender equality opened up new directions for us as a culture and has enriched us. Shedding oneself of false impressions allows one to follow a path that is true to the soul.

The direction of a culture is driven by the people within it, not from the leader who stands out front. It is the collective mind that counts. The leader can only drive change when their direction is accepted by the collective mind.

By identifying a limiting cultural belief and understanding why it is flawed, you can become an agent of change. By communicating the message, you can shape the thinking of the collective cultural consciousness. This is what all great people in history who have been agents of change have done. Ghandi identified that loyalty to the British Crown was not in the best interests of the Indian people, self determination and independence was. Martin Luther King took the long held idea of racial equality and turned it into a movement that changed America and the world.

These people changed the collective consciousness and freed a culture from holding onto a belief that was holding them back.

These leaders did it for justice, freedom and truth in their culture - just as we should seek justice, freedom and truth in our personal life, because ultimately the journey of self improvement in your personal life must always include your contribution of something for the betterment of mankind.

Breaking Free…

1. Identify a Limiting Cultural Belief

This is something that is likely to happen because you have a nagging feeling that something is not right with the world, and in a moment of inspiration you finally understand why. It is hard to go looking for limiting cultural beliefs, more often they find you. That is because if we knew what they were, we wouldn’t be captivated by their spell.

2. Read Widely

The more you read about the world and the state of mankind, the more insight you gain into the way of the world. The more you read, the more you are exposed to other views and you will always come across something that challenges your world view.

3. Don’t Succumb to Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling that comes from holding two conflicting beliefs, ideas or values. This happens when people find out new information that changes their fundamental world view. When confronted with this situation many people come up with strange explanations of justification or they just ignore one side altogether. You need an open mind and need to be open to changing your beliefs if you find out they were flawed.

More importantly, and what I ultimately seek to do, is always seek the truth. Not the truth of what you’ve been told or shown, but the truth about how you feel about it.

Healing Your Regrets

04/29/2012 21:30:00

Regret is that feeling of sadness, remorse, or disappointment over something that has or hasn’t happened. Regretting what we did or didn’t do, as well as the paralyzing fear of regretting future actions, keeps us stuck and unable to move forward. We need to find a way to live with the life choices we’ve made, big and small, in a way that is free from the albatross of looking back all the time and judging ourselves. And we need to find the courage to follow our true self, even in the face of our fears.

Healing regret falls into two categories: 1/ the things we can still do something about and 2/the things we can’t.

If you regret something that can be righted, then right it - say you’re sorry, give back what you took, or ask to start again. If you’re hesitating because it might be hard, embarrassing, painful, or maybe they won’t forgive you, all that is very understandable, but do it anyway. The energy you’re wasting holding on to a big bag of regret is far more harmful to you than whatever happens making it right. Because when you sincerely try to make it right as best you can, you free the toxic energy you were generating inside yourself. You stop dragging around that weight you’ve been carrying. You’re liberated from a vicious cycle of judgment and self-recrimination. The act of taking action with sincerity (not just to make yourself more comfortable) moves the energy, and that initiates a healing process.

So, check your motivation and then know that whatever happens in the act of righting something isn’t actually your business; the outcome is not yours to control. You can only control yourself, your motivations, and your actions. And that, plus a big dose of self-forgiveness (see #2, below), has to be enough.

Some opportunities never come around again, for whatever reason. The moment is past; the person is gone, or maybe it would be more disruptive and hurtful to approach the other person than to just keep it to yourself. Here are some ways you can still heal the issue.

1. Take a symbolic action

Imagine you want to apologize to someone who you’ve lost track of or has passed away. Find some quiet time and write that person a letter (I recommend long hand), saying everything you want to express to them. Explain what happened, how you felt, and your sincere feelings and apologies. Say everything. Trust that on an energetic level, this person will get your message and affirm in yourself that the message is delivered. Find a respectful way to dispose of the letter, if you choose, such as burning it.

2. Make loving space for your feelings.

This act of self-forgiveness is the kind that says, Yup, I wish I had done or said such and such (or I wish I hadn’t). That’s true. There it is, this longing for it to be different, and I accept it. I accept all the feelings that go with this. Then breathe and keep breathing, and experience the physical sensations that come up as you make room for all that is. You’re not saying you like or condone your actions (or inactions), just that you’re willing to make space for yourself and your feelings. Remember that you have a huge heart; so big that it has room for every feeling you could possibly feel. And it’s a heart filled with kindness and love, which are two innate qualities that can transform absolutely anything. Also, start here if you are frozen by the fear of regret and can’t move forward. Start by acknowledging and accepting yourself in that stuckness. Again, this doesn’t mean you like it or are going to stay stuck, just that you still love yourself anyway.

So far, we’ve looked at regrets that involved another person, but what about regrets such as, I wish I’d gone to graduate school — things that just involve you and choices you’ve made for yourself? Here’s how to approach this kind of regret:

Really check in with yourself to see if you still want to do or have what you regret, and why. Do you still want to go to graduate school? What’s your motivation? Do you have the time, money, passion and intention to do it now? What thoughts and beliefs come up when you simply try on, I’m going to go to graduate school? Are these beliefs limiting you (I’m not smart enough) or telling you that you’ve moved on and should just let go (I’m not even interested in that topic anymore)?

Assess your passion level. You may still want to have gone to graduate school, but don’t have enough passion to pursue it now. If so, move on to the next point. If you do have the passion, but money or time is an issue, then that calls for deeper exploration. Money and time have to be considered in our decisions — that’s just life — but too often I see clients stuck because of limiting beliefs in these areas. Examine what is underneath your ideas about money and time. You may find you lack a feeling of being worthy of devoting the time and money your dream will require. This feeling of unworthiness can be healed, in time, and then you can reassess your dream from a new perspective, free of the limiting belief that made it unthinkable.

If you want to do something but either can’t or don’t have enough passion to pursue the original dream, then find the essence of the dream and live that, now. What can you do right now to live the dream of going back to school? If the essence of the desire to go to graduate school is to study something you’re passionate about, then find another way to study that fits into your lifestyle. Join a discussion forum, do an online course, read a book, download audios from leading people in your field of interest, attend a workshop or conference. Start small, but start, and do it now. Bring what is lost back or what you never had here now by finding its essence and bringing that into your life, today.

Ask: What if it was supposed to be this way? Life happens (when we’re making other plans, as the saying goes). Looking for the hidden blessings in how things actually turned out free us from struggling with wishing things were different. So, using the previous graduate school example, ask yourself, "What if I was meant not to go to graduate school?" What has not going given me, protected me from, moved me towards, made me available for, or challenged me to learn, become, or face?" Every path we choose means we decline a hundred other paths. Focus your energy on the blessings of THIS one, the path you’re on, not the ones you’re not.

Whatever form your regrets take, the most important part of healing is to forgive yourself. And not just once, but as many times as you need to. We all think we will be a certain kind of person and do certain things in life and then life takes us on a ride we never planned. THAT IS LIFE. But you can claim your healing and freedom anytime, through self-responsibility, healing actions, and self-forgiveness.

Requirements for Effective Change

04/17/2012 13:40:00

I’ve always been interested in change. How to change, why people change, why people resist change, why people who want to change fail at changing … you get the point.

What makes change so compelling for me? It’s movement. Change is what moves you forward in life.

People resistant to change usually fall under 2 groups:

Those who usually don’t know what they want in life, so they don’t want to move for fear of going in the wrong direction.
Those who do know what they want, but become paralyzed because they are not sure how to get there or there are too many options to choose from.

To the first group, I recommend that you do some self-reflection and really think about what you want and what your values are. An exercise that has helped me is to list on one piece of paper the answer to "If I could not fail, I would …" and to fill this list until the bottom of the page for 30 days. Only after you have some clarity of what you want in life, will you be open to change.

To the second group, congratulations on knowing what you want! Now you just have to realize that most people don’t know how to get where they are going. They just launch themselves in motion and correct the course according to the feedback they get. Of course, by studying people who are successful in achieving what you want, you can come up with a good plan that can save you some time and energy. The main point for you is to just start.

Once you’ve decided that you are going to change (move towards your goal), you need to keep in mind 3 requirements for effective change:

1. Overwhelming Desire

To begin effective change, you must see the change as being a necessity. If the change is just "nice to have," it won’t be sustainable because anything "nice to have" is also "ok not to have." The stronger your desire for the change, the more effective the change will be. What is something you NEED to change in your life right now? Please write down the answer to this question somewhere. We’ll need it for later.

2. Begin at the Root

Thoughts are the root of all behavior. Before you can change your actions, you must change your thoughts. To change really means challenging your previous assumptions. It is impossible to keep all the same assumptions and still expect to effectively change. Look at the answer you just wrote down to the question above. What assumptions are you holding that’s preventing the change? Challenge that assumption. Explore the possibility of that assumption being false. Understand that what worked before to get you where you are, may not work to get you where you want to go.

3. Build the Habit

Once that assumption has been challenged and deemed to be incorrect. Think about how your actions will change now that the original assumption is no longer holding you back. What are the actions that are now possible that weren’t possible before? List the actions of change and prioritize the list to choose one action that would make the most positive impact in your life.

Now all that is left to do is that action, repeatedly … until it becomes a habit.

Once it becomes an automatic habit, repeat the process all over again to continue moving towards your goal.

The Gift of Grace

04/01/2012 09:22:00

Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave ‘til it gets to shore. - Rumi

Two weeks ago, we experienced the glorious and unexpected gift of an early Spring. Instead of the normal 47-degree weather for this time of year, we were reveling in 70-degree plus days.

To welcome the gift, our doors and windows are wide open to the sounds and scents of spring.

Here in Bel Air, we were serenaded by the ongoing call of the robins, the pretty chirp of the cardinals and by the chimes that have followed us from home to home. With open windows and doors, we could catch the scent of far off rain, and newly blooming hyacinths.

Everything is growing and blooming weeks sooner than normal, from the daffodils to bluebells - with tulips not far behind. Birds are trilling, buds are swelling, and it's easy to forget about what work needs to be done behind the computer when greeted with a completely unexpected sunny day.

It's a gift, like Grace.

We did nothing to earn it, it simply is, and all that it asks of us is to become aware of it, accept it, and enjoy it to its fullest.

Sometime in February, we saw a herd of deer romping in the trees and hills behind our house. After a snowfall a few days later, multiple hoof prints covered our entire yard, revealing that they had romped for a while, unnoticed this time. And one afternoon I glanced out of the kitchen window and saw a beautiful red shouldered hawk sitting high in the tree, proud and regal; the ruler of our little patch of forest.

Which makes me wonder how often do deer and hawks visit our home, and we don't see them.

We all know the answer. The deer, the hawk, and literally a million other critters, visit us yet we rarely notice them.

They too are a gift, like Grace. We do nothing to make them appear. The only requirement is to become aware of the beauty of these creatures and enjoy them as evidence of the immensity and diversity of the Infinite.

Pondering this idea of Grace as a gift, I felt the real meaning behind the teaching to not seek earthly rewards, but wait for our rewards in heaven. Misunderstanding of this teaching sets us up for suffering in a variety of ways, but a right understanding of it aligns us in Grace.

We misunderstand when we believe that we are humans living in a material world and that someday we will leave this material world to achieve heaven and receive our rewards.

The truth is, we don't live on a material earth as human beings. We live in a spiritual universe as the idea of the divine One.

We misunderstand because we are trained to see things as material instead of spiritual, and to believe in the game of lack attached to the material viewpoint.

In comparison, very little training and education has been given to any of us to look at everything as it is - a spiritual fact made evident by what we call people, places and things - and to see the consistent Grace that abolishes forever the illusionary material game of lack.

Once we become aware of our True being, the real meaning of waiting for the reward in heaven becomes clear. Of course, we would not want to trade in the consistent Grace of a spiritual universe for the fast fix of material results, otherwise known as a reward on earth.

Grace is not something we earn. It just always Is. We live in Grace, and we are the result of Grace. Accepting this, we experience heaven now, and our rewards now, as the spiritual fact made evident.

We experience Grace the same way we experience a beautiful spring morning; by throwing open the windows and doors of our awareness. By listening, seeing, and accepting Its presence in the beauty of a moment, the kindness, and love given and received.

We know Grace through the outside and internal beauty that we witness and express.

Grace, like beauty and Love is ever-present wherever you are, because wherever you are, there is only the Divine's presence filling every space with Grace.

Instead of working and searching for material rewards, we can expect to be consistently rewarded in the most practical manner possible as we maintain, express, and live in the awareness that Grace is the substance of all Life, in all moments, and in all ways.

Enjoy the gift!

Who Am I and Where Am I Going?

03/19/2012 11:27:00

Before I was laid off from the Housing Authority in November 2011, I planned that whenever I decided to work for Embracing the Journey on a full-time basis, it would consist of individual holistic life coaching and spiritual direction sessions. Those are the things I'd done, felt successful at, and loved doing. What I've discovered in the last four months is that what enlivens me most is working with groups of women and balancing that with time for spiritual practice, family, friends and volunteering.

Who I thought I'd be shifted when I asked: What enlivens me? What supports me in feeling the most whole, open, loving, peaceful, joyful, and present? I asked myself how who I am and what I do need to evolve as I look to honor my life plan of "simple, quiet, gentle, deep," as well as what I want to put into place to support who I am becoming.

Try this fun exercise to check in and see where you are now, how you got here, and to guide where you're going in life.

The Who Am I and Where Am I Going? Exercise

Get a piece of blank paper, poster board, or your journal. Print three headings across the top of the page —

5 Years Ago/ Today /5 Years From Now

(Or put the actual years: 2007, 2012, 2017, or your age for each of those years.)

Under the three headings, list the adjectives (descriptor words) and nouns (roles you have in the world) for who you were 5 years ago, who you are today, and who and how you’d like to be 5 years from now. You can repeat items in all lists. Don’t think too much, and don’t worry about the order you put items in, just make the lists!

SAMPLE:

Today’s Date:

5 Years Ago Today 5 Years From Now

kind mom yoga teacher student impatient balanced daughter busy friend runner daughter wife friendly wife vegan

Now What?
Quick! Put on the self-compassion glasses. This exercise is NOT a weapon to beat yourself up with regrets and ‘shoulds’.

Revel in who you’ve become in the last five years!
Forgive yourself for ways you’d thought you’d be, or what you’d do or have that didn’t work out!
Celebrate who you are today!
Figure out what you have to learn, accept, develop, let go of, reach for, or try in order to be who you want to be in 5 years. You might create a vision board, with words and pictures, to inspire you to become the person you'd like to be.

The MOST Important Thing
The most important thing is to remember that who you really are is deeper than any role you play or adjective describing your personality. Who you are is pure radiant being. You can bury the treasure that you are under masks and jobs and critical inner voices, but the truth of your nature is unchanging and timeless. The task for each of us is to rediscover that treasure and take precious good care of it with how we choose to live.

Be the Answer to Your Prayers

03/04/2012 16:30:00

The rain began. As it began to flood, the man, who had a deep faith in God, knew God would save him. A neighbor came over in a rowboat and called to the man, "Hop in my boat. I’ll save you!" The man refused, saying, "No, God will save me!" The water rose to the second story, and along came a rescuer in a motorboat. "Get in my boat. I’ll save you!" cried the boater. "No!" the man replied from his roof. "God will save me!" The water kept rising and before long, it had reached the man on the rooftop. A helicopter flew in and dropped down a sling to the man. "Grab on to the sling," yelled the pilot. "I’ll pull you up and save you!" As the man replied, "No, God will save me," a wave swept him off the roof and he drowned.

As he entered heaven, he saw God. The first thing the man asked him was, "Lord, I was so certain you would save me. What happened?" God answered, "I don’t know. I sent neighbors, a boat and a helicopter!"

My father-in-law has told this story several times when delivering sermons that center around passively waiting to receive your blessings. The man asked to be saved by God, but when helped arrived, since it didn’t fit his idea of what being saved would be, he turned it down three times. He gave his power away by waiting instead of embracing the answer being presented to him!

The Law of Attraction offers a formula for manifesting our desires: Step 1: Ask; Step 2: Believe; Step 3: Receive. It is generally accepted, amongst some, that Step 2 is about waiting. But I don’t believe that waiting was ever intended to be the passive step it has become.

A few weeks ago, I tweeted that I was "learning the art of waiting." And in discovering the Universal Law of Action, I uncovered a new, revised formula – with a more empowering series of steps.

Step 1: Ask

This is very important. Deciding what you desire gives the other steps focus. Often people don’t know exactly what they want. If this is the case, then decide on the feeling you would like to experience. By focusing on the feelings, the experiences will follow. The man in the story asked to be saved. He was very clear about that, but he placed limitations around how it would manifest.

Step 2: Create

Instead of passively waiting, this will now be replaced with actively creating. Reclaim your power and apply the Universal Law of Action. Each day, choose congruent actions to support your desires. If you want to manifest peace, then what can you do to support the feeling of peace? If you want to manifest love, then engage in activities you love - nurturing your desire for love. Become what it is that you desire. Begin to say "yes" to experiences that support what you want. While you may have to wait for the overall end goal, you reach that goal with each step – whether it’s a small step or a giant leap. Just like the man in the story who feared that he would be doubting God if he accepted help, don’t fear that by taking action you are doubting your faith.

By taking action, you assert an active faith in manifesting the life you desire. The man in the story failed to see how saying "yes" to accepting help would give him what he desired – to be saved.

Step 3: Live

As you create and nurture your desires, you begin to live your intentions. You become connected to Divine Source. James 2:20 instructs that "faith without works is dead." Breathe new life into your intentions by taking action. Decide what you want, then manifest your desires by bringing them into your present experience and living them. The more you live, the more energy you put forth and the more you receive – which gives you more with which to create. As you create the answers to your prayers through the active participation in manifesting your desires, be open to new experiences. Don’t say "no" because it doesn’t fit your original idea. Love, peace, joy, abundance, etc. can manifest in a variety of ways. By saying "yes" to the desired feeling, you are living your intentions. And, you’ll never know where one step will lead!

I heard Rev. Michael Beckwith say this on one his teaching cd’s, "Do you press the pause button – the ‘until’ button in life by saying, ‘I can’t be happy until…’?" He goes on to say, "All this accomplishes is a delay in your entry into your innate state of happiness, which is independent of outer circumstances. So, press the play button and rejoice in the ‘nowness’ of the moment."

While it may take time to achieve the overall goal, taking action a step at a time will get you there. It isn’t enough to know the truth - we must LIVE IT! Instead of believing the old saying, "All good things come to those who wait," embrace the saying, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Be the answer to your own prayers!

Just Go With It!

02/20/2012 13:19:00

JUST GO WITH IT!

I am a child of the late 1960’s and recently heard a song that I remember from that time. The song was "I Fought the Law." Some of you may not remember this song, but the hook was simply, "I fought the law and the law won. I fought the law and the law won." The lyrics of this song may seem stark, but the underlying message comes through loud and clear for me in my present state. The chorus reminds me of the initial steps I took when learning the principle of metaphysics and the Law of Life.

The Law of Life is immutable, and it is always working. We are constantly growing and can’t stop it. What we can do is accept it and work with it. When we believe it, trust it and commit to it, we are able to receive amazing results. We may think the Law does not work, but it is actually always working for us; we just don’t recognize the direction of the growth and how it manifests in our lives. Many of us do not thoroughly understand how electricity works, yet we are able to turn on the light switch and benefit from the electric current. We do not have to fully understand physics and metaphysics in order to know that what we declare to be true in our lives will manifest – if it hasn’t already.

It happens to all of us from time to time. At the slightest disappointment, we may retreat and seek comfort in an unhealthy way, not realizing the Law is always at work pushing us to learn and grow. I have to remind myself often that the Law of Life is one of growth and expansion. So, when I find myself mentally fighting with a new predicament using old, unhealthy thoughts, I will remember the chorus, "I fought the Law…and the Law won."

Imagine creating a list of achievements you would like to realize in 2012. What if you can consider, metaphysically speaking, that the world as you have been living in it has ended? You can step into a whole new world; no longer a world of doubt, second-guessing the Universe, wondering if God hears your requests and knows exactly where you are located for receiving your blessings. What if the easiest explanation to why you have not received the amazing life you deserve is simply that you have never let your old life go in order to receive the new? The master teacher, Jesus, stated that we must let our old nature go; that old wine could not go into new wine skins.

When you enter the realm of knowing that you are a spiritual being immersed in an amazing world, settling for less will create pain, struggle and stagnation. I have come to realize this on a number of occasions in my life. I would get in the way of new possibilities by refusing to allow the new to emerge. I would block the amazing by settling for the good.

This year is my time (and your time) to uniquely create our soul’s destiny. A time to put new wine into new wine skins. A time to move from good to amazing. A time to accept the way the Law is always working without question as you step into the magnificent being you were created to be.

Tragic Treasures with Dianne Rosena Jones

02/07/2012 10:07:00

Tragic Treasures: Discovering the Spoils of War in the Midst of Tragedy with Dianne Rosena Jones

Embracing the Journey: What is your life's work?

Dianne Rosena Jones: That’s a powerful question which I believe can change over the course of one’s entire life. However, at this moment on my journey my intention [my purpose] is to be a healing presence in this World expressed through unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness demonstrating to all I come in contact with that Love never fails. So, my goal is to measure all my life’s work [whatever I may be doing] against my intention [my purpose].

ETJ: What inspired you to write Tragic Treasures?

DRJ: I don’t know if I would say that I was "inspired" to write "Tragic Treasures." I actually tried to write something different. I was required to write it. It was "birthed out" of my spirit by my living. It’s my journey, but the experience is not mine alone. If anything truly "inspired" me, it was the realization that there was purpose not only in my pain, but buried beneath my pain. Once I was awakened to that revelation, then I knew I had to share with others that they too could find purpose buried beneath their pain. I was compelled to write a "blueprint" that would help lead others to finding the "hidden treasures" buried beneath the deb

ris from life’s tragic moments.

ETJ: What does Tragic Treasures mean to you?

DRJ: Publishing "Tragic Treasures" became the catalyst to fulfilling all my dreams. With its publication I begin to walk in my "true calling" and my entire existence shifted and I began to live a "purpose driven" life. So, "Tragic Treasures" means everything to me.

ETJ: What intention or purpose do have for this book?

DRJ: The purpose of my book is the same as my own purpose. And that will be the purpose of my next book, and book number 15, 20, and 35. Every word that I write and publish will always be with the same intention and purpose. My intention is that every book promotes healing in this World expressed through unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness demonstrating to all that Love never fails. 　　

ETJ: What is your favorite part of the book?

DRJ: I don’t know if I can say that I have a "favorite part." I know the parts that bring about the most conversations from readers are the chapters where I discuss "stalking my son", my "Glenn Close" from "Fatal Attraction" moment, and the chapter called "We Wear the Mask."

ETJ: When you're not writing, what are you reading?

DRJ: I love to read anything that is going to help me "Become Who I AM." So, personally, I read a lot of spirituality, inspirational, self-improvement type books. However, because I am also the Editor for African-American Literatu

re with BellaOnline I have the opportunity to read a lot of other great books whether it’s Christian Fiction, Urban Fiction, or Fantasy.

ETJ: If you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would it be and why?

DRJ: Right now, the one person I would love to have dinner with is Maya Angelou. Most of her life she has shown others through her wisdom, writing, and living that you can find "hidden treasures" in the midst of the most tragic circumstances. She is not only a writer and poet, but a great intellectual mind. She epitomizes grace, elegance, and truthful love. Maya Angelou represents all that a strong black woman can "overcome" and "become." She is the type of "healing presence" in this World that I aspire to be. She is my silent mentor. I would love to spend time in her presence, just listening to hear words and wisdom.　

Dianne Rosena Jones is a Transformational Life Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Co-Host of "Becoming Who I AM" on Blogtalk Radio, and Founder/CEO of two Companies: Royal Treasures Publishing, LLC and Transforming Life Institute designed to provide coaching sessions, seminars, workshops, and conferences to help facilitate transformation in the lives of all those seeking to truly become who they werecreated to be. She currently lives in Duluth, Georgia.For more information about Dianne, her work, and to purchase the book, visit

www.royaltreasurespublishing.com

BE the Message

01/23/2012 23:47:00

People often say, "I hope one day my dream will come true." Early in my practice, I changed these words to be "my dreams are waiting on me to come true." In other words, what do I need to accept and release so that I may step into my dreams? How do I become more self-aware, so my consciousness can accept more success, love and prosperity.

The ability to speak from your truth is one of the most important tools you will ever have to affect others both personally and professionally. Storytelling is still the most popular form of communication in our society. Right now I am sure you could think of at least 25 stories from others that have changed your life for the better, simply because they were able to tell you a relevant story with confidence and power.

Often in a world where you are longing to create positive changes, you as yourself, "How can I make a difference?" You identify with a life of purpose by thinking of various ways in which you can contribute your time, talent and treasures.

The simplest and most profound way to make a difference (or as Ghandi stated to "be the change you wish to see") is through the way you speak. Speaking means more than stating large syllable words and impressing people with your vocabulary. Speaking to make a difference means using words filled with the energy of confidence and power, making them electrifying and memorable.

One of my dear friends, author Marvin Mack, said, "We must always give a maximum performance with the appearance of minimum effort." He speaks to hundreds of groups from all walks of life and leaves every audience longing for more. Our connection began when I sat in on him facilitating a group of women in downtown Baltimore. After I heard him speak, I know he had to be involved in my journey in some way. He had offered me the right words at the right time and that imprint has forever changed my life.

I remember taping a cable show many years back to promote a community event. In speaking with the communications director at the cable company, we agreed that the adrenalin that rushes when you walk into a studio in anticipation of sharing a positive message with the masses is exhilarating. Yet if you think about it, life is always giving us opportunities to spread positive energy. With every encounter, whether you are standing in front of a room as a teacher or a speaker, speaking to your child, or talking with someone at the grocery store, you are "live on the air." Your positive words can make all the difference, especially when you are exhilarated about life.

I have been a coaching and facilitating for over ten years. I have presented life-affirming "products" to a vast diversity of groups and the lesson is simple: Be the message! Let positivity shine through your thoughts, our words and your actions. As for me, I become the message by the way in which I express my appreciation for life. Life always mirrors the enthusiasm and commitment I bring to it.

Some people have near-death experiences, but it is more common to have "near-life" experiences. True living means giving all that you are and have, to everything you say and do. True living is discovering your authentic message and sharing it with others. Living your message makes all the difference.

BE your message – deliver it and lit it with power and confidence.

January is Strategy Month!

01/10/2012 11:42:00

January is the time I coach my clients to take some quiet time for Strategic Planning. That means taking a step back and looking at the big picture, identifying goals, and figuring out a strategy on how to make things happen. This kind of attention is not just important for businesses; it’s also critical for your personal life, too. Otherwise, you can end up putting a lot of time and attention into things that take you off course from your true path.

January is not only a great time for planning because it is the beginning of the year, it’s also the perfect time to slow down, be still, and quiet. Mother Nature, who is resting before the big growing stage of spring, supports this. We’re naturally drawn inward, to our deepest core. This is the place from which our inspiration comes, the place our internal compass lives. When we step back and plan from our inner wisdom, we chart a true course for the next season of our lives. There’s less regret, wasted time, and frustration. We get unstuck and move ahead, living from a deeper, more authentic place day to day.

There are several things I have found that really facilitate this kind of big picture planning. Here are a few that I hope you’ll find to be helpful:

Even a few hours away from your familiar surroundings, responsibilities, and usual distractions can really clear your mind and settle you into a deeper place of heart-centered insights. Start by taking a walk, a yoga class, or getting a massage, and then settle yourself somewhere quiet that you won’t be disturbed. If you can get away for a night or two this will really facilitate inner clarity. If getting away at all isn’t an option, a coaching session might help launch a process that you can take your time with, a little each day or each week.

Here are some places I like for simple, inexpensive quiet:

A church or chapel (when there is no active service going on)
A small, local art gallery (during non-peak hours)
The reading corning of a library or book store

If you'll notice, none of these places are spas or big fancy centers, which I find don’t have the kind of deep quiet I need for a mini-retreat like this. Also, don’t be put off by the fact that a place may have a religious affiliation. No one will ask you about religion or require you to be or believe anything in particular if you’re sitting in quiet reflection. What most will provide is a very simple place to meditate and be quiet.

2. Start with brainstorming.

Let your mind wander and dream; indulge your flights of fancy, before getting down to the business of what is realistic and manageable. Try mind-mapping on big sheets of paper, making some sketch drawings (doodling for most), journaling, or collaging from old magazines. See what emerges from your creative interior before you impose left-brain prioritizing, list making, and deadline setting.

3. Get concrete.

Now that you’ve dreamed the dream, put some legs under it with concrete lists of Strategic Outcomes (what you want to accomplish), Goals (what needs to happen to get the outcome), Tasks (what you’ll actually do) and a Timeline (when you want to complete each task). Remember, every outcome needs goals, every goal needs tasks, and every single task needs a deadline.

4. Find your theme for the year.

What is this year about for you? Health? Patience? Simplifying? Notice what emerges as the overarching theme of how your soul wants to more deeply express itself in the coming year. Where are your lessons and longings pointing you? When you begin to align your actions, thoughts, and choices with a deeper soul-prompted theme, you’ll see yourself moving forward into more joy every single day. A word, phrase or image may emerge to guide you through the coming year.

5. Get support.

Find a family member, friend, loved one, or supportive life coach or spiritual director to help you make the time to get away, organize your inquiry, process your experience, and stick to your plan once you return home.

Taking a few hours or days away in January can provide you with a blueprint for a wonderful year. Let me know if I can help!